It’s really hard losing someone you love. If you have, and I honestly hope you haven’t had to, recently experienced this – I’m sure you’re aware of all of the emotion that comes with this, and the grieving process. Which to some, may look and feel different than it does to others. And whilst I hope that this has not happened to you recently, if it has – I can identify with you.
For me, losing someone in your life means that there is a hole left there that can only be filled by that person. That can be a difficult concept for me to grasp, especially if in just thinking about them or their go-to catch phrase, you can hear their voice and see the expression they would have had on their face. It’s tough. Especially when this can take up most of your mind space for a long time after its happened. However, one thing that I’m starting to learn – and this came from recent self-reflection and remembering my favourite things about the one I lost, is that the hole in your life doesn’t need to remain a gaping void. Will it ever be completely full? No. How could it be? Especially if they were a large part of your life, or even a small but influential part.
It can be hard to really believe that the void of someone can ever truly feel filled – however, one thing that’s helped me in the grieving process is trying to remember all of the good times, and everything about that person that ever made me happy. Maybe it’s a catchphrase that they’d always use, maybe a mannerism, a song or a label. What makes you think of them? It’s difficult, but trying to imagine the void of the person you’ve lost being filled with memories of them that make you smile can make the loss hurt just a little less.
One thing that I’ve learned from losing people that I love throughout my life, and it may seem a bit cliché, but it’s that life is short. It’s not just a saying that people have whenever they want to justify doing something or purchasing something. Because life is so short, in my case, it’s allowed me to realize just how much people mean to me – and it’s made me treasure their presence that much more. It’s also taught me to value time more. Treasure the time you get to spend with someone – your parents, friends, relatives, grandparents, siblings. Not only will it mean a lot in the present, but if the time comes that you may lose them, you’ll have many more fond memories to look back on that may help you through the loss.
Until next, my darlings. Xoxo
This post is written in loving memory of Mark Harmon, a Nashville legend and beloved family friend.