Perhaps this is something we’re all guilty of at some point in our lives. It could be in a relationship, a job or a friendship – and you find yourself feeling under appreciated or undervalued, but you can’t always seem to put your finger on the reason why. It could be, perhaps, that you are letting fondness for something (or someone) overshadow that you are not getting from the relationship, friendship, or job, what you are looking for. But you see, self-worth is so important – and being in an environment for you to understand how much you are worth is priceless.
This is something that I’ve been contemplating, and it has been at the forefront of my mind quite often as of late. Not because I’m currently experiencing these feelings – but because I’ve been trying to identify any patterns from when I was experiencing them. I am a firm believer of surrounding myself with work and people that will continuously have me striving to be better – a better person, better friend, colleague, partner, conversationalist…you get the point. I began to look back at some of the patterns that seemed to repeat themselves whenever I was feeling undervalued – and noticed that there was a common thread, actually, there were two.
Firstly, let me preface by saying that I love communicating with people. Even if it’s just a simple check in to see how they’re doing or telling someone you miss them. Being lucky enough to study communication for some time, I’ve come to believe that face to face interaction is one of the most valuable things you can offer to someone.
In the past, when I’ve started to feel undervalued, it’s been because there was a lack of communication. Or, if there was any, it was quite one-sided. I think for any relationship you have, whether it is working, platonic or romantic, two-sided open communication is highly valuable. Being able to make the time to see and speak with people, I’ve found, shows that you really value them and their time.
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This leads me to the second common thread: time. It’s never guaranteed. You can never know what tomorrow will bring, or the next day, week or year. That’s why whenever people take time out of their busy lives to spend time with me, I feel so incredibly grateful. Spending quality time with people, in my eyes, is one of the greatest gifts that you could give. I’ve always understood the life of having a busy schedule. Trust me – I should. There have been points in my life where if I stopped to breathe, I would have felt like I was falling behind. I get it. But at the same time, even if only for a short, ten minute chat; time is just so valuable.
I’ve made a promise to surround myself with people that actually want to be in my life. If someone wants to be your friend, your partner or have a good working relationship, you’ll know it. However, this is not me saying that all of the effort should only come from the other person. It should always be two-sided, and effort to maintain the relationship should come from every person involved. That being said, I think it’s important that when you feel you’re undervalued, you ask yourself why you’re feeling this way.
I personally can speak to how feeling undervalued has diminished my confidence in the past. Yet, because of this, I find myself seeking out quality relationships in which I won’t have to worry about whether they value me or not. Knowing that the people in your life realize just how much you are worth is an incredible feeling. And you are. You are worth so much, and you are so valued. One thing that people like these motivate me to do is to make the best life possible for myself, and to enhance the lives of those that I care about.
Have you ever experienced feeling undervalued? If you have, I hope that this post helped you to realize that you’re not alone in feeling this way, that it does happen, but there are ways to help you work through it. Until next, xoxo.
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